Friends and family

Corina Parker

So this is my friend Corina, and I have a love/hate relationship with her. I think I love her, and also hate that I love her. She used to spend most of her time ignoring me, but then we discovered we were both unnatural (she’s a vegan vampire) and we’ve been good friends ever since. But being friends with Corina takes work. She’s not actually that nice – she makes me carry her bags and doesn’t say hi to me at school . . . But other than that, she’s the best friend a zombie could have.

Ernesto Ortega

Ernesto is the runt of the Ortega family, a big family that lives behind our house, we call him Nesto for short. Nesto smells really bad, like rotting squirrel meat . . . which is about accurate considering that every full moon he turns into a . . . you’re thinking werewolf, right? No. Nesto’s family are from Mexico and his monster alter ego is chupacabra. That’s like a fusion of a lizard and an underfed gorilla. In monster mode, he’s actually pretty disgusting, but I don’t tell him that because he’s kind of hung up on the fact that werewolves are much cooler than chupacabras ­– they even get their own movies.

Amanda Meltzer

I don’t have a photo of my sister Amanda to show you because she’d break the camera. Amanda is older than me by one year and four months, but she acts like she’s already in high school. When I was ‘away’ (my mother’s term for being in a coffin, six feet under ground) Amanda stole my bedroom and now claims it as her own. I really can’t forgive her for this, but I suppose I can’t be mad at her forever. It’s not her fault she has such a feeble mind.